Monday, October 6, 2008

Consistently Cub

Author Aldous Huxley once said “Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life.  The only completely consistently people are dead.”  As the 2008 Chicago Cubs season comes to an early close, one cannot help but wonder if he had the Northsiders in mind when he spoke of consistency decades ago.  This particular Cubs effort is especially notable because it marks the 100th anniversary of their most recent World Series championship, a defeat of the Detroit Tigers in five games.  With the arrival of this disgraceful centennial, I present to you the Chicago Cubs:  The most consistent franchise in baseball.
Since 1908, the Cubs have appeared in seven World Series, most recently in 1945, and losing all of them.  The Cubs have had consistent appearances in the MLB postseason, each of them ending in some form of frustration.  Consistency might earn you the nickname “The Iron Man,” but in this case all consistency has given Cubs fans is frustration.  Consistently fielding bad teams and disappointing playoff efforts has earned the Cubs the nickname “Lovable Losers,” which might make for adorable t-shirts, but for the contingency of diehard Cubs fans, this reputation leaves them with a sour taste in their mouths (which certainly isn’t the Old Style).
Allow me to return to my opening quote.  Chicago Cubdom has led their fans into a complacent, consistent life.  This life includes pilgrimage to Wrigley Field (A ballpark which confuses consistency for tradition), to root for consistently overrated players (Fukudome, Soriano, Theriot), all the while knowing the history surrounding their team.  This consistent lifestyle is indicative of Cubs management, which has more or less accepted the complacent lifestyle.  Cubs fans have come to expect a consistent baseball season in which unless the Cubs win a World Series, will be a losing one.  This consistency leads me to declare that the Chicago Cubs franchise is officially dead.  100 years of heartbreak, failure, and an empty trophy case means that the winning ship has sailed, and Cubs fans are left drowning in Lake Michigan.  On the bright side, consistently staying at a Holiday Inn does earn you Priority Points, which Cubs players will certainly rack up while traveling to various golf courses this fall.

Monday, September 15, 2008